I almost wiped with my hand at the airport.

My wife and I flew out to see some friends last weekend.

Before the flight, I did what every man over 60 does before he’s trapped in a metal tube for three hours. I went to find a bathroom.

I handled my business. Then I reached for the toilet paper.

It Was See-Through

Y’all, I’m not exaggerating.

It was like wiping with a receipt. Half ply, if that. I’m not sure it qualified as paper.

So I did what I had to do. I pulled. And pulled. And pulled.

I folded it. I stacked it. I built myself a little pillow out of that stuff just to feel safe.

By the time I was done, I’d used four times what a normal roll would take. And I STILL walked out of there with doubts.

Here’s what I don’t understand.

Somebody picked that toilet paper. Somebody sat in a meeting, looked at the options, and said, 

“Yep. That one.”

Then somebody else approved it.

Their whole reason was to save money. But what did they save? Everybody in that bathroom is doing exactly what I did. Pulling four times as much to get the job done.

They didn’t save a dime. They just made everybody’s day worse.

Here’s the part that really got me.

I’ve got a trucker buddy. For 30 years, he’s carried his own roll of toilet paper everywhere he goes. Truck stops, gas stations, restaurants, you name it.

I used to give him hell about it. I called him a prima donna. I told him he was one step away from carrying a purse.

I owe that man an apology.

When I got back to my seat, I told my wife the whole story. She looked at me and said, “You know, there’s a reason I keep tissues in my purse.”

Then she patted me on the hand and went back to her book.

Do you run into this thin toilet paper everywhere, or is it just the airports?

Enjoy your Sunday!

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